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« CptnHotMess » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION James T. Kirk ✦ Star Trek AoS • CRAU (Fillory)RESIDENCE ✦ Assigned Apartment
GEMBOND ✦ Emerald
"This is Kirk. if you need me, leave a message! Fjord, if you need me just come get me you like like, next door."
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[Spock does not seem surprised, despite the revelation. After all, why wouldn't he, seeing Jim after so long? Spock would do the same. He had done it once before after all, and knows how warm and inviting it can be.
He had suspected his counterpart's feelings ever since he found the very same begin to grow inside him. Why the Ambassador went to such lengths to push them both together after their meeting, how frivolous he seemed to be with rules and regulations when it came to Jim Kirk. Something they both now have in common. It was after his passing, glancing at that old photograph of them together that he finally understood the deeper meaning of those words they shared so many years ago.
Ah. Jim's thoughts were growing restless and the panic setting into his body language is plainly visible. He should not have stopped so abruptly. Spock leans in to offer another kiss, hoping that it combined with his own sense of calm will serve as an expedient way of making Jim realize that he had not acted wrong.]
T'hy'la does not have an accurate translation in any human language. [After another kiss, he pulls away only enough that they can speak without their lips touching.]
It may refer to a 'friend', a 'brother', or a 'lover'.. or in cases such as this, all three. [Yes. Like this.] But the true meaning is much deeper. 'Soulmate', while lacking, can be a comparable term.
..It is of no surprise to me that the Ambassador uttered it when he saw you. He spoke of our fated destiny, it stands to reason that even in the creation of an alternate reality, such a bond would remain. He and I are one and the same, after all.
[They only just got their feelings aired, and Spock had hoped to wait more than sixty seconds before dropping the whole 'so i believe we are fated to be together forever' talk onto Kirk, but here we are. He at least attempted to do it as tactfully as possible.]
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There was little time to convince me that I had to do what I had to do after the attack on Vulcan. He tried to tell me who he was, but I didn't believe him.
[Who would have, honestly? Some random Vulcan living in a cave who'd managed to escape the destruction of his planet mere moments before hand, telling him that he's from an alternate future and that he was Spock? If he hadn't melded with him, Jim wouldn't have been able to do what he did, he knows that.]
All... three? S-Soul?
[His voice is barely a whisper between them. There's a very deep blush that spreads over Jim's face at that word. He loves Spock, knows that to be true with every fibre of his being. Soulmate? Is he worthy enough to hold that title? He doesn't know. Pleasure and doubt whir in the captain's mind, an exciting, dizzying and terrifying prospect all at once.
But one thing is sure. He wants it to be true.]
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[Seeing Jim again after all those years, especially after his planet's demise, would have brought the Ambassador so much joy. But Spock opts not to say as much, already sensing some apprehension here.
Jim is stuttering. Soul is not a difficult word to pronounce. The emotions he transmits may be of excitement and hope, but they struggle to keep afloat of the fear and doubt. He must feel hesitant, and who could blame him?]
I understand that it does not carry the same cultural significance for you, nor do you possess the context to fully understand it. ...I had not intended to discuss it today.
[Did he want to? Yes. Was there a lot more to it in Spock's eyes ? Yes. The benefits to being on a ship surrounded by humans for so long is that he has become deeply skilled in embracing technicality when it comes to wording and omission of information.]
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No, I think I understand. At least, in theory? I'm just- you know,
[Jim's hand smooths down Spocks arm to lace their fingers together, and yes, he's fully aware of what that means, thanks.]
I want this. I absolutely want this. And I know you want this too, it's just... I'm not sure that you aren't making a mistake, you know? Like in a few years you'll realise that actually, you don't want me. Not to put aside that fact that we won't-
[He has to look down in this moment because the thought of it crushes him.]
When we leave here... we won't remember any of this.
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We will not remember. Having returned for those five years I can confirm it myself. Our time here has no external effect on how the rest of our lives will play out. [If it did, if he had remembered what he learned here? Things would have been very different. Though that change itself would imbalance the very nature of a closed loop and- well. The space-time lecture can wait for another day.] To expend time and energy expressing sadness or regret over an event we are unable to change would be illogical.
But Jim. [His voice softens once more as does his expression, with what looks like a hint of amusement to his eyes.] Your concern that I may be mistaken is without merit. You will find that I am quite incapable of such a thought.
This is why I consider 'soulmate' an unworthy synonym. For a Vulcan, a bond such as this is permanent from the moment of its acknowledgement. One would have no desire to ever break it, and if formally bonded in the Vulcan way they would find themselves incapable of doing so without grave consequences.
[Spock tilts his head forward, allowing their foreheads to rest together as he reaches for Jim's other hand, intertwining them as he allows his eyes to close.]
Even if you were to say now that you want nothing to do with it. If you told me to never mention it again. I would not wish for it to be broken. And I would not view it as a mistake. [Good enough?]
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[The words come out in a rush, because Spock needs to know exactly how much he wants this. Jim thinks that out of all the things he's ever wanted in his life, a bond like this one is pretty much one of the top priorities on his list. Well, he was going to settle for the good old-fashioned human kind, but this is...
'You don't deserve him'a voice in his head says. It sounds like his deadbeat uncle. 'If I don't, then I'm going to work damned hard to make sure I'm good enough.'
Jim relishes in the touching between them, feeling how much it means to Spock through his own thoughts. He doesn't think he'll ever get tired of their minds touching like this, like it's home.
He tips his face up, his eyes closing slowly as he kisses Spock again, deeply, gratefully, adoringly. ]
I want to stay.
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Then stay. I do not wish you to leave.
[This time Spock returns the kiss with no hesitation. They both want this, that much is indisputable. His emotions seep through the Synchrony, and they are overwhelmingly positive, just a feel-good bundle of joy, love, and desire that begin to build up until it inevitably reaches that point where he begins to reign them back in, to suppress them before they become too much.
Kissing his t'hy'la breathless is all very well and good, but he finds himself craving more. Spock breaks the kiss to tilt his head, kissing at Jim's neck as a hand begins to skirt under the hem of his shirt, fingers lightly tracing over the warm skin of his stomach as if asking for permission to continue.
Ah, well. He could just ask, and he does not even need to stop kissing in order to do so. The fact that his telepathy works so easily in this world is a blessing at times such as this.]
May I ask a question? Do you still express regret at, as you put it, "waking up to find out you did not sex your incredibly attractive friend"?
[Yeah, back then after the ball he definitely read a lot more than he let on. An eidetic memory has his advantages.]
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At Spocks question theres a wave of embarrassment, but it's quickly turned out by a crash of desire and an undisputable 'Yes'.]
Yes.
[He thinks, just in case. But then all bets are off and he's pressing into the Vulcan, his own mouth pressing a litany of marks into Spock's neck and his hands snaking their way up and under his shirt. ]
lets just call this thread NSFW now we know where it is going..
It would be wise to move before they end up naked in the entryway (though honestly.. he could make that work too) but he does not wish to give up this contact either. Not when Jim is so warm pressed up against him, and he gets to relish in the sensation of letting his fingertips run down the other man's back, tracing over smooth muscles and committing it to memory, as the flick of his captain's tongue against his neck has his breath hitching because it just feels good. Luckily he has a work around.]
I believe it would serve us better to continue this elsewhere...
[That's all the warning Jim gets before he finds himself being lifted from the ground quite effortlessly, Spock's hands on the back of his thighs and pulling his legs up and around his own waist for support. A position that does not leave much to the imagination when it comes to how much this is turning him on, especially when he presses in for another kiss.]
...That is, unless, you preferred the wall for company. [Whatever Jim wants, he wants too. As he said, he can make it work.]
Hellyeah
He is not complaining.
Oh, fuck. The noise of wanton need that escapes his throat is loud and needy as Spock effortlessly lifts him and he can feel the arousal beneath him. Jim wastes exactly zero seconds to fit their hardened lengths together and grinds down, desperate for that delicious friction. A wild vision passes through their synchrony of Spock pounding right into him against this wall within an inch of his life. He wants that in this moment very very badly, but maybe not today. Maybe today should be more special than that... but also...
He breathes heavily and leans in to speak lowly into Spock's ear.]
You could absolutely fuck me right here against this wall if you wanted to.
[And now that he's here, he brushes his lips against the commander's (adorable, gorgeous, fascinating) pointed ears, a hint of teeth scraping against the thin skin.]
NSFW(alls)
Then it appears we are on the same page..
[The sentence trails off as warm lips and teeth scrape against the sensitive skin of his ear, replaced with a soft sigh and the utterance of Jim's name from his lips as he becomes more and more inclined to put that previous imagine into reality.
Encouraging his captain to drop back to the floor Spock promptly begins ridding them of the rest of their clothes, bordering that fine line between mere efficiency and impatience. His own shirt goes first, for it isn't fair that only his hands get to relish in the shared body warmth and touch.
Next are Jim's shoes which are swiftly discarded before the Vulcan moves to loosen his trousers, though instead of removing them completely he dips a hand inside, palm curling around his hardened length and stroking slowly as he nuzzles into the captain's neck. They may be feeling a little impatient, but he still wishes for the experience to feel as pleasurable as possible.]
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When Spock comes to try and drop him he really doesn't fucking want to, he wants to grip on and grind, but he knows as well as Spock does that this is way better without clothes on. So he does, reluctantly, but that doesn't stop him from immediately nosing into Spock's neck and letting his tongue roam over the expanse of skin now available to him, finding a particularly nice part between the Vulcan's neck and his shoulder and choosing that part to bite down lightly and suck on, soothing it with lips and tongue before going again.
While the commander takes his top off Jim wastes no time in reaching down to unhook the button on his trousers, his own already divested, leaving only his briefs straining to keep his cock in place. He's very intent on getting Spock to the exact same state, and he might be just a little impatient about it.]
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With that in mind Spock brings a hand up to Jim's face, coaxing his head back and away as Spock steps away to the small, square table close by which hosts a variety of items. ]
It is fortuitous that I did not discard the welcoming gifts that were presented upon my return.
[It sure is a little house-warming basket left by the building's custodians, Noctium style, filled with various sex-related trinkets and lotions. After poking around in it for a moment and finding what he was searching for- a lubricant- he steps right back, walking right up to his captain and pressing into him once more with a heavy kiss, one he does not intend on breaking until either of them need to breathe. His hands work on ridding them both of the remaining fabric, pushing underwear down and out of the way.
Only then does the first officer break the kiss properly, his head tilting back to gauge his captain's expression as he allows his hand to curl around his cock, teasing over the head with his thumb as he is committing the look on Jim's face to memory. As quickly as it began he is letting go once more, though this time Spock's hands soon find their way around Jim's behind once more before he is lifting him back up, back into their previous position with hips flush together.]
Relax, Jim. I do not wish for it to be uncomfortable..
[It's spoken softly, the topic under discussion becoming clear as Spock fiddles with popping the cap off the lubricant he'd been holding, coating fingers in it before pressing one at Jim's entrance, taking cues from the other man on when to proceed or to add another finger, leaving soft kisses on his cheek as a distraction as he continues through it.]
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He watches through half-lidded eyes as the Vulcan's elegant fingers search through the basket to find exactly what he needs, and Jim takes that short time to kick off his underwear and just generally shove all the clothes on the floor further away from them-
And then Spock's hand is on his cock and he's got a dull pain in the back of his head from where he's thrown it back to gasp, the sensation of smooth fingers on his length almost too much. He's vaguely aware that he's being lifted again, the cool press of the wall on his back a contract to the body heat of his lover, leaning himself forward so that he can touch more, more of him, more of everything.
Spock tells him to relax, and in his mind he laughs because how can he, when this is the only thing he can think about?
When he feels Spock's fingers probe his entrance, there's a moment where he stiffens, an ecstatic litany of oh my god is this really happening? It's only for a second, and then Jim's body welcomes Spock into itself with eagerness and soft moans.]
More, [He almost begs when Spock is up to three fingers.]
Want you, please. [He moams between hitches of breath and toe-curling pleasure as Spock explores him.]
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Which is why he is being watched intently as their bodies begin to move together, dark brown eyes locked onto familiar blue. It is said by some that Jim wears his emotions on his sleeve, but Spock would argue that they are displayed within his eyes instead. Over the years he has come to recognize certain looks given by his Captain, silent tells which betray their owner regarding what he is truly thinking.
Yet this is a new one. A certain intimacy felt between the gaze they share, the way that have captured each other's attention completely as if nothing else is of importance. There's an inherent sense of possessiveness behind it, the satisfaction that comes with knowing that Jim is completely focused on him right now, that the little sounds or expressions or pleasure given off are of his doing. To have it continue would be... most pleasing.]
Jim..
[His voice is quiet and low, barely above a murmur as Spock allows his head to lean against his partner's, uttering a string of words in his native tongue that likely won't be understood. Rather than explain he lets his telepathy combined with the synchrony do the talking, letting Jim catch a glimpse of his thoughts through their touch as he begins to move more earnestly.
There is the sense of physical pleasure of course, the tight heat of Jim's body smothering his own cock with every thrust and the wave of ecstasy which follows it, or how the nerves in his fingertips are picking up every little sensation. The acknowledgement of their compatibility- both professionally and personally, intellectually and now physically. Even when they disliked each other they found themselves drawn together, except now that animosity has been replaced with fierce loyalty, at least on Spock's end.]
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Is this what this is supposed to feel like? Like he's unravelling at his very core and every thread of his being is re-weaving itself to fit this new part of his life, to stitch it into his soul?
And then Spock is in him. Slowly fucking forwards, pressing ever more into Jim's body, and the human feels so much.
Jim sees stars burst behind his eyelids and he can hear himself gasp and moan on his commander's cock, and he doesn't care. His eyes open, half-lidded, to look into the deep brown eyes he loves so much.]
Spock! Ah, fuck, more-
[To feel Spock's mind intertwine with his is a sensation he doesn't know how to translate into words. It is pleasure and adoration and love and he can feel that they are both perfectly imperfect together. He used to think that Spock was far too good for him, that this stupidly beautiful, logical man would never want to stoop to Jim's wildly chaotic level. He can't think that anymore, not when he sees how well they fit together on this.
He closes the scant space between them, reaching out to touch lips and tongues, to try and push himself even closer to his lover as Spock's emotions filter through their bond.
'Pleasing' indeed. Jim finds himself laughing at his partner's thoughts. Even in the height of something so carnal, he is composed in a way that Jim could never replicate and he loves his Vulcan even more for it.]
Love you, love this, fuck-
[His voice is breathy and incredulous and reverent, and with everything building up in his mind and in his body Jim can feel himself get dangerously close to climax already.]
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And now? As all of Jim's many thoughts and emotions seep through in return with such intensity, Spock allows himself this short respite. Allows himself to be influenced by it, to stop overthinking and just feel. The warmth, each sound, the pleasure in every rock of his hips.
His pace quickens as the whispering moans from his own mouth multiply, giving in to all that Jim's very essence provides. Quicker, harder, not unlike the very image shared between the two which promoted this in the first place. Spock leans in to meet him halfway, heated breath mixed with swollen lips and wet tongue as their mouths attempt to greedily devour one another.
Breaking away once they know they are both close he buries his face into his captain's neck once more, his name the only word upon vulcan lips between the ragged breaths as Spock reaches up between them, his hand taking his lover's hardened length in a firm grasp as he strokes it in unison to each thrust if his hips, hoping to push him over the edge.]