tobodlygo | Noctium IC Inbox

Captain.

Your choice of username makes it difficult for those who wish to search for you in the registry. As its purpose is for direct communication, to enable maximum efficiency may I suggest changing it to include your name? Unless you underwent a legal name change in my absence and did not inform me.

well, captain HOT mess is right 3:)
hi jim!! it's jester!
what are you doing liiiiike right now?

Spock, dearest Spock. The point of a handle like this is not to be found easily, it's to make a statement. To pack as much of your personality and wit into a single username as possible. I mean I came up with mine on the fly, I could probably do better?

"CaptainKirk" would mean absolutely nothing here, after all. And don't you worry, I'm still the Jim Kirk u know and love ;)

Jes!!

Uh... right now? Unwetting myself :P
[Attached is an image of Jim with a towel around his waist and not much else. The image has captured him mid exaggerated wink, steam fogging up most of the mirror he's using.]

Why, wanna go do something?

[Jester's confused by his reply initially, until she opens the attached image and sort of....stops moving for a long second, staring down at this absolute gift she's been given. "Holy shit," she whispers, before her brain catches up and she scrambles to reply.]

oh!!
hellooooooooo there handsome 👀🥺😈

yes! i was wondering if you wanted to go to this place with me
it's called an arcade?
we don't have them in exandria i don't think
but someone said it was really cool and fun!!!

[Yeah... he's not changing his so CommanderSpock it is.]

[Also:]

Captain.

While my respect for you in both a personal and professional nature has increased since the moment of our meeting, I would not describe it as "love'. My interactions with you have been purely platonic I can assure you.

Wh?????
not even a little bit :'(((((

;)
Anything 4 u babes

AND HOLY SHIT??? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO AN ARCADE???? okay no we have to go give me like 10m to put something on

important question, do u prefer sparring or solving puzzles?

Although our short time together has been filled with many intense situations, we still hardly know one another. Love requires time, effort, mutual understanding and reciprocation of affections as well as most importantly, a personal relationship outside of professional interactions which we do not have.

To give a shorter answer, no.

Is my assumption incorrect, Captain?
Additionally, you must remember that you possess five years of experiences and memories which I do not.

[Just a minute, Jester's a little busy blushing at the pet name!!]

no never!!
YAY
i can't wait to see what it's like!!

sparring is way better than puzzles, for sure. only nerds like beau like puzzles!

[Reciprocity, huh? Jim gets a little stuck on that word as he reads the reply with a small smile.
Nah. He doesn't really think that's in the cards for them, as much as he wants it to be.]

Don't worry, Spock. I'm teasing. I wouldn't expect you to feel anything more than contempt for the me you remember honestly, and I wouldn't blame you.

And don't worry, I haven't forgotten.

I feel like it is important for you to know that out of five hundred and twenty two matches of tridimensional chess that you and I play over said five years, we're currently tied :P

[He hopes that gets the right kind of message accross. He's not trying to boast that he can go toe-to-toe with Vulcan logic, but rather that yeah, they do spend a fair amount of time together in the future. Jim cherishes the time he gets to spend with Spock, whether it be in the hustle and bustle of the rec rooms or the quiet intimacy of either of their quarters.]

Once again you are mistaken. If I felt contempt towards you, I would not have submitted my candidacy for the role of your First Officer.

[He wouldn't give the time of day to someone he had no respect for. As for what he does feel though.. that's the million dollar question isn't it. He only knows that Spock Prime emphasized that they would be a big influence on one another.]

An unfair claim to make when one of us has no recollection of the results.

[But the meaning was understood. If he wished to brag about winning, then why make it a draw?]

As I can neither prove nor disprove your claim at this time, the only logical option is to acquire a tridimensional chess board and begin anew.

Jim I must speak to you.

About several things.

[Guess who's back. Back again. Spock's back. Tell a friend.]

Spock???

[Jim smacks the call button immediately as he gets the text. Jim might be a little overzealous with his own texts sometimes, sending Spock memes he finds on the 'net and just random observations or pictures from around town. Even though he doesn't manage to elicit a response all the time, there was at least the little 'read' ticks that popped up.

But when the messages wouldn't even send? And when he couldn't manage to find his friend anywhere? Yeah, you bet your ass he was worried.]

Oh thank god, where the hell have you been?

[The swift response had been expected. It was precisely why Spock had held off on announcing his presence until the right moment, yet there is still an air on uneasiness before he opens the video feed in return. He had made his Captain needlessly worry.

The video feed flickers on to show Spock not in his favoured Science Blues but a regular old shirt instead. Incidentally, one he wore to a certain someone's birthday party. And did he look a little older, or was that just the crappy connection?]

Jim. It has been approximately forty-seven hours since my return to Noctium. I spent several of those receiving treatment aboard the Nova Station before returning to Sumarlok.

[Spock already knows he will be required to explain why he did not get in contact immediately, so he wastes no time in defending his position.]

Once I regained access to the communications network and had ascertained your safety, I felt it prudent to abstain from announcing my presence until I had been released from quarentine and arrived planet-side once more. My intention had been to contact you upon my arrival in Sumarlok, however... incidents prevented me from doing so.

[Incidents? If Jim was expecting a further explanation, none is given.]

To use the common Noctium vernacular I had "returned" to the reality we hailed from. Although I departed here for only nine days, in that time I experienced a whole five years serving under your Captaincy. It really is quite facinating.

[Okay, there's a lot to take in there, but Jim makes it a point to filter them all down into their base components - but first of all-

A smile blooms on Jim's face, warm and happy and real.]

Welcome back, Spock. You didn't tell me because you know I'd rush right up there, huh.

[He's back!! His Commander is back, and he knows now! He knows... everything... Oh lord. That nine days had felt like an age, and he hates that he worried so much. Surely he should be happy that Spock got to go back home, even for a little while. It's been nearly two years since he's seen his people, and he can't help but pine for them from this place. He'd been worried that Spock might never come back, and maybe, maybe, he'd never see him again. It had hurt so much.]

Never mind that, where are you now?

[Jim starts to grab the jacket off his coat hook in his apartment and chucks it on over the henley he wears, the tell-tale jangle of keys being picked up from the sideboard letting Spock know that he's already getting ready to leave.]

..That is correct.

[Spock knows his Captain well after all. Jim would not leave it be if he were to discover that a member of his crew had arrived upon the Sky Station. And if it was Spock himself? Empirical evidence with a dash of hope told him that Jim would be even less inclined to be patient regarding their reunion.

As for Sumarlok, at first it had simply been late. Spock decided that he did not wish to interrupt a productive night's rest.]

I am in my assigned apartment. Evidently, my claim to it was not relinquished upon my leaving. I learned that when an individual 'returns' the items or property they obtained will not immediately be-

[Ah. Jim is moving already.]

Captain, there is no need for you to- I shall come to-

[The jacket is already on, and Spock can hear the metallic clang of keys. Asking Jim to sit and wait for him is unlikely to cut it here.]

Your place, got it. See you in five!

[Jim grins, and that's it, that's the end of the call. He races through the corridors of his own apartment block to get to Spock's, knowing that this is a bit silly, but he'd been fucking worried and he really wants to see the other man.

He rings the doorbell in maybe half of that five minutes time. He considered waiting because he knows that Spock likes him to actually do things at the time he says he'd do them, but also he knows Spock is used to him my now.

He's waiting outside and practically vibrating. As soon as that door opens he's hugging the shit out of the man, regardless of proper protocol. Fuck the protocol, they're not working right now.]

[Okay. Five minutes. That actually means four minutes at most, but likely less than three if Jim decided to sprint over from the other apartments close by. Spock plans for three. Three minutes to organize his thoughts and decide what it is he wishes to say. Spock has no intentions of lying, a Vulcan does not lie, but he isn't exactly eager to be forthcoming about certain events either.

Information regarding the last five years on the Enterprise he just caught up on, culminating in the very obvious tension between the two for a number of reasons. Information he learned during his previous time here. Specifically some completely out of the blue feelings from his Captain which now.. make a lot more sense. Information on how Vulcans do not necessarily dream as humans do, but he has been having the same very specific, very detailed dream for two nights now which is why he has been actively avoiding a very specific person.

It's fine. It's fine. Spock steels his will, emotions reigning in. As long as they do not initiate contact and Jim does nothing too Jim-like, their conversation will achieve a positive outcome.

...Of course Jim does something very Jim-like. The door barely has a change to open before a mess of blond hair steps in and before his First Officer even has a chance to back away, two arms are looping around him in a full on embrace.]

Jim, I-

[This would have been bad enough if they were anywhere else, such as on their ship. The desire to reach out and touch was already there and this time he cannot blame it only on the gembond. But in this place they have to deal with Synchrony involving a telepath and as soon as contact is made those feelings betray him immediately. Acceptance, regret, attraction, devotion. The list goes on, Spock's emotions popping up through their bond and desperate to be heard before he pushes them down and silences them one after another. This is only going to get worse the longer it goes on, yet he is frozen to the spot. He cannot pull himself away.

Of course Jim would do this, immediately ruin everything he had planned by being his usual spontaneous, over-emotional self. But Spock would not wish it any other way.

This is precisely why I can leave Starfleet. I can leave the Enterprise. I can leave Nyota. But I cannot leave you.]

Jim. Please. Don't. [He is pleading here. Actually pleading.]

[The sudden and almost unexpected barrage of emotion from Spock freezes Jim in place too, because he doesn't have the Psionic training to react that quickly and the reciprocal emotions flow back between their bond unfettered by any sort of barrier; The depth of his affection, the fear of abandonment and rejection, that Spock might never come back and he'd be alone again, a possessiveness that makes him want to hold tight and never let go, never again.

It's Spock's plea that makes him move, but fuck, he doesn't want to.

He wants to move closer, to hold, to adore, because this feels good and right and amazing! But Spock has asked him and he will give it. Anything he wants.

Jim pulls back with a sheepish smile on his face, a hand moving to rub nervously at his neck, clearing throat.]

I, uh. I'm sorry, I just really, really missed you.

[The more Spock feels Jim's affection spread through the connection, the less he wishes to give it up. He is warm, carrying that specific scent which says 'Jim Kirk'. He wants to be selfish, to bask in it and refuse to give it up. It is illogical. He does not need to take that which would be freely given to him if he only asked. Yet it is that final step he has always been unable to take.]

I.. have also missed your presence. Although it has been only two days for myself.

[He would have returned immediately had he thought it wise. Forever drawn to Jim's side, a truth that he knows quite obviously just spilled over in their connection. Spock had hoped he could spare Jim the troubles of having to deal with what he deems to be his 'personal issues' and they could both enjoy the reunion, but it seems the situation had other plans.]

I am the one who must apologize, Jim. You did nothing wrong. I am at fault for not better preparing myself for what I should have seen as an inevitable outcome. [A beat.] I did not think the connection would be that strong. Forgive me.

[But of course it would be. It now has five years of friendship and companionship to build a foundation on.

Spock wishes he could leave it at that. But he felt Jim's emotions in return clear as day. It only made it harder to step away, especially during that pang of guilt which hit when Spock asked him to stop. It's one thing to do it to himself for what he believes to be the greater good, but another to actively go against Jim's wishes even in a case such as this.]

Please understand I.. find myself easily distracted since my return. [No he is not going to elaborate.] Physical contact between us would be unwise.

[Jim's face falls into something more considering, a little more serious.

He'd just felt what Spock thinks of him, and his elation is running a little haywire and he knows that he's prone to recklessness, but just this once...]

Spock.

[His voice is soft, and he turns to gently close the door so that their words won't spill out into the corridoor. When he looks back, there's something about his friend that looks a little bit like a deer in the headlights.]

You just felt everything that I feel for you, and I know you did because I felt you feel it.

I just got one question for you. What's stopping you?

[He's not saying it to taunt. He really, really wants to know. Is it something to do with him? Something about their positions? Jim has never wished he wasn't Spock's captain more than in this moment, because maybe that would make it easier.]

[Of course Jim would ask him that specific question and so directly, to leave no room for avoidance and misinterpretation. He'd had enough experience with Spock's ability to skirt around the truth when he felt like it.]

Spock is quiet, contemplative as he weighs the options in his mind on how much he wishes to reveal. At this point holding information back was beginning to feel more like a lie of omission, but more than that his friend deserved an honest answer. As he speaks his tone has softened, not quite exuding the confidence it usually would.]

...It was something I could never find the time nor the words to tell you. I thought you disinterested. When I recently underwent a revelation of sorts and opted to remain in Starfleet, I decided that if I refocused my efforts into serving you to the best of my ability, both as First Officer and as a friend, I could learn to be.. content.

[Which would have made it easy, if it were not for this here.]

Our time here taught me that what I interpreted as disinterest was simply.. hesitancy on your part. However, Jim, you have also built a new life here with others, long before I arrived. It is not something I wish to intrude upon, so to avoid potential conflict I was resolved to not speak of it. I.. simply wished to remain at your side.

[He knew the second he set foot in Noctium again that the feeling was mutual. And how much those nonsensical conversations they had during his first month here actually.. made an enlightening amount of sense. But it was not that simple.]

[Jim steps closer, so that they're almost chest-to-chest, so that they're almost sharing breath. His eyes are focused on Spocks, glittering with emotion and determination.]

Then let me give you a choice. You can stay by my side, always close but not close enough, wondering whether you made the right choice or not. Or you can have everything.

[He means it. Spock can have all of him, anyway he wants, however much he wants. Because he's going to do the same.]

I love the people I love, and you are one of those people, Spock. I have more than enough of it to go around. [He stops to smile as he thinks of Jester and Fjord and Spock, and how, in all likelihood, he could be greedy and have all of them]

I'm gonna ask once more. What's stopping you?

[As he confessed Spock hoped that Jim would make the decision on what follows next, forcing his first officer to accept whatever the outcome would be. Resolution, at long last.

Instead he finds himself presented with the very same question once more, however this time the parameters have changed. This time Jim is right in front of him, invading his personal space as usual and offering up everything Spock wished for, giving him permission to reach out for it.

The choice is simple. Only an illogical fool would deny themselves.]

Are you certain?

[Does Jim really know what he is getting into here? He had experienced some of it through their contact but even then those emotions had been tapered in. He will know it the moment they touch again, as Spock allows himself to be read. A culmination of years spent in both indecision and pining, the desire for acceptance and the unwavering devotion offered in return.

A hand slips around the back of Jim's neck, fingers pushing through his hair as the other cups his jaw, and without waiting for a response Spock is stepping forward, causing Jim to take a step back until they are again by the wall beside the doorway. While his expression appears as stoic as ever the look in his eyes gives him away as usual like he is staring at his next meal, honestly an impressive accomplishment for a vegetarian.]

Likewise, whatever it is you wish from me, I will give freely. I will ask again Jim. Are you certain?

[This time he will wait for an answer, leaning his body against Jim's own, letting their faces be far too close together as he allows two fingers to trace along his Captain's cheek and jaw. Heh. He wonders if Jim knows in Vulcan terms how much he is being felt up right now.]

Noctium IC Inbox

text; un:CommanderSpock; it's only right that he is the one to christen the inbox

un: sapphire

HHHHHH LESSSSSGOOOOO

:DD

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un:CommanderSpock

Video, immediately

Video

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